guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
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