**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Randomize