I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
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