Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
