i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
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