I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
