If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
You are a genius and a whore.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
