Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
