He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
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