When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
You need Xanax blowdarts
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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