Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
