She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
