You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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