thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
