I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Randomize
