OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize