There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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