just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
they call him Oral-B. enough said
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
he just fucked me for my cheese..
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