how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
