New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Damn victory sex feels great
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
