I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
