as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Randomize
