Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
