There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
