Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize