I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
The struggles of a small town man whore
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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