Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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