hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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