Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
We talked him into tasing himself.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
