Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
