Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
