every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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