JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
