i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
You ate ashes out of my bong
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Randomize
