i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize