I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
