I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
You're like the curious george of whores
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
