the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Randomize
