Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
