I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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