I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Houston, we have a squirter
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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