i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
