Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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