then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
