lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
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i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
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I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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