Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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