I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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