I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize