Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
