I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
