you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
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